Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
