The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
