why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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