Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
