I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
