I am puke
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
