i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
