are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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