at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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