He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
