Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
