She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
