drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
barbara walters just said penis...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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