I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
