Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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