You work out of a Hotel?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
