I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
