Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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