My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
