Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
