Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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