Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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