Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
