Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
