I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
