should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
