I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
