I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
