why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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