Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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