Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
