I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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