I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
How's work?
Spinning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
