I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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