Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
