TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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