yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
