you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
