It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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