Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
