sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
