is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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