she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
