the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
