i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
