Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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