my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Let's get the cat blown out
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
