You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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