I seem to have left my pride at pride
Four minutes until I can fart!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
