After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
