i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
