All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
